just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize