If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
