if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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