Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Tell her she can't have a vagina
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize