i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
