There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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