My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
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