i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
