Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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