you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
