She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
