one word: firstdatebathroomanal
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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