God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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