dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Just pee around me
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
