all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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