I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
