I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Found the puke drawer
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
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