If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Randomize
