i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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