I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
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