Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
