I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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