I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
