and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
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the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
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My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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