I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I have fence marks all over my body
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
