Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
