when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize