Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(480): View more from Arizona

They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."

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(203): View more from Connecticut

We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day

(1-402): View more from Nebraska

If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME

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(270): View more from Kentucky

I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?

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(703): View more from Virginia

I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.

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(305): View more from Florida

She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"

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(480): View more from Arizona

Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail

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(315): View more from New York

Verdict: uncircumcised.

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