hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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