forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
