either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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