I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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