I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
