I am in a vortex of obligation.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize