I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Randomize
