quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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