You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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