he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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