STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
