"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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