He asked me if I "almost moaned"
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
