what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
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