Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Me. At least after what I've been through.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
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