Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Randomize
