Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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