He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
You need a sexual gate keeper
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize
