He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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