I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
