She's JV to your varsity
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Locals Wish Tourists Would Stop Doing These 27 Things
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
my shit smells like andre
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
25 True Facts That Sound Fake AF
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole