I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
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i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
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I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
You blew him?!?!
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.