Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
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she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
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Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.