my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday