Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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