I want to walk on stilts...naked
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
two words...techno handjob
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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