New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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