im gay
i know
yea but for you.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize
