Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
